Candy Balms: Razzles Luscious Lemon Vs. Gummy Bears Cherry

In each corner we have one beloved candy turned lip balm. On my left, Cherry Gummy Bears balm and on my right Razzles Luscious Lemon.

I may not be the target demographic for these sticks, but I do eat my fair share of candy so I definitely know what they're supposed to taste and smell like.

Let the battle begin with the Gummy Bears:

Price: $3.00

Appearance: The package is cute with the little bear ears cut into the cardboard. On the tube, the biggest words written, besides the name of the stick, are: FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY - KEEP OUT OF EYES - NOT TO BE EATEN - STOP USE AND ASK DOCTOR: (sic) IF RASH OR IRRITATION DEVELOPS. A little subtley goes a long way Gummy Bears, ever hear of "the fine print"?

Glide: Chalky and overbearing. Like the Hawaiian Tropic stick, the flavor disperses into the mouth.

Flavor/ Smell: I could compare it to cherry cough medicine, because you all can relate to that. But it's worse, take cherry cough medicine add in some apple liqueur and kitty litter. Inhale, and then rub on your lips. Compare.

Lasting Power: Minutes.

Product Plusses Minuses: Tons of chemicals and it "may contain" mica.

1 out of 5 tubes.


And the Razzles:

Price: $2.25

Appearance: I think this stick's going for nostalgia points. The only folks I know who are into Razzles are in their mid-thirties. The stick's design is boring, and the Razzle on the tube looks like Alka-Seltzer (maybe a selling point for the ulcer wielding middle agers?).

Glide: Not as bad as I anticipated. Nothing to write home (as I'm known to do) about, but tolerable.

Flavor/ Smell: Lemon Lysol. Awful.

Lasting Power: Minutes.

Product Plusses: This one actually has some ingredients that I can pronounce, like beeswax.

1.5 out of 5 tubes.

The clear winner, by 1/2 a point, is the Razzles. This is because it will cost you $.75 less to abuse your lips and nasal cavity.

But, don't bother with these tubes, unless you're stuffing the stocking of a six year old. But even then, we hope that you'll start them off with tubes made with all natural ingredients.