Monday, April 30, 2007

Guest Post! Dairy Queen Vanilla Cone

Today's guest poster is Marissa, who has a GLOWING review for everyone.

Aprez vous, Marissa!

I am going to review the singularly worst lip balm ever made. Now, it does have the potential to be amazing; after all, who doesn’t like vanilla ice cream? (Vegans, but not my point.) Even writing this review made me throw up a little.

I found this tube on the checkout counter of a cutesy little accessory store for girls, and being the thirteen-year-old girl that I am, I bought it. Normally, I stick to more minty lip balms, but c’mon! Vanilla ice cream! I had to have it.

Price: Despite, being targeted at younger children with smaller pockets, the price is around three dollars. It’s high, but not too bad, considering you’re also paying for the Dairy Queen name. (NOTE: You can buy it here for $2.95).

Viewed head on, this normal sized tube is rather cute. The signature DQ logo is smack dab in the middle for optimum product placement, and right under is the name of the flavor in a curly font. The images are flanked by a few starbursts that fully reminds me of funky-70s wallpaper. Now, start turning the tube, and focus you’re attention on the giant warning label, which reminds me that the lip balm, “HAS REMOVABLE CAP.” Thanks, DQ, I almost forgot!

Glide:Disgusting. Apply no pressure, and the lip balm barely touches my lips, let alone covers it in balm. Add the slightest pressure, and the entire stick smashes against my lips and smushes everywhere. It’s a lose-lose situation.

Flavor/Smell: This lip balm fully redeems itself where smell is concerned. Although it smells nothing like “vanilla cone”, it is almost a perfect imitation of the scent of butter cream frosting. If only it tasted like that. At first, the lip balm tastes like mountains of sugar attacking my tongue. The longer I left my tongue on my lips, the more intense the underlying flavor of...I can’t even describe it. It made me want to barf.

Lasting Power: A really long time- at least two hours. Which is bad, as it felt like I put glue on my lips.

Product Pluses: Not for use for children under eight. Now we can save at least a fifth of the population from the heck that is this lip balm.

Overall: .5 out of 5 tubes. I think I’ll carry this tube around just to smell it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Rob Corddry is One of Us

In Sunday's New York Times Magazine there is an article on comedian Rob Corddry, former correspondent on The Daily Show and current star of Fox's The Winner. The article (which is actually a thinly veiled blog meme) reveals that Corddry, in addition to owning over 1,000 albums, also has lip balm on him at all times:

Always with him: ChapStick. It’s in my pocket right now. There’s one in my desk drawer, one in my bag, one in my car and a few in the dresser. Probably 15 have fallen behind my bed. It’s become emotional for me. I just need it.

He gets it. He really gets it. From the photo, it looks like he, too, uses the Perez Hilton-approved Lab Series balm as well as Blistex, Burt's Bees and Rosebud Salve.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Site We've Been Digging: Sohum

Tell me this isn't one sexy lip balm. I'm sold already just looking at it. It's made by Sohum Cosmetics, a Melbourne-based company with an intriguing line of sleek products made with alluring ingredients (what am I, their copy writer?). Gingerlily and mango candelier, anyone? Or perhaps frangipani body wash is more to your liking. If I had a real bathroom, I'd stock it full of Sohum.

Have you tried their lip balm?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ablutions: Coconut Lemongrass

Ablution is an actual word:

ablution \uh-BLOO-shun\, noun:
1. The act of washing or cleansing; specifically, the washing of the body, or some part of it (as in a religious rite).
2. The water used in cleansing.

It is also the onomatopoeia of a sneeze.

So, gesundheit, and let's review.

Price: $5

Appearance: Clear tube covered by a spa-like white label with a printed flower. Basic.

Glide: Great glide. The balm is thick enough to coat with one swipe, and it's thickness keeps it from being to greasy.

Flavor/Smell: I thought Coconut Lemongrass would smell like Thai food. In a good way. But it smells exactly like suntan lotion, with a lemon twang. It's a good smell, a bit strong, but it works.

Lasting Power: Hours. This one will keep on keeping on.

Product Plusses: 98% organic made with all sorts of yummy smelling organic oils and waxes. The Ablutions website has all sorts of info about the ingredients of the balm, and all their products. Transparency is key, folks.

4.30 out of 5 tubes

Another flavor I was able to try was Chocolate Orange Truffle: Same greatness as the Coconut Lemongrass, but with an even more amazingly tasty scent.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

ChapNews Vol. 13: Talk About a Bad Grade...

The Seattle Times reported last week that two sixth graders tried to incapacitate their teacher with lip gloss. Those girls are either really smart or really stupid.

Two 12 year-olds spent Thursday night in juvenile detention for allegedly trying to sicken their teacher — who has a severe allergy to strawberries — with a dose of synthetic strawberry-scented balm, applied to a drinking glass.

The girls, students of Sakai Intermediate School on Bainbridge Island, told police they considered using real strawberries, but did not want to kill their teacher, just provoke an allergic reaction, said Mark Duncan, deputy chief of the Bainbridge Police.

The girls' alleged motive? To avoid trouble for not getting parent signatures on a progress report.

"They thought if they could make the teacher sick, then the progress report would not be an issue," said Duncan. "This is 12 year-old thinking."

The teacher, Kasey Jeffers, had a reaction after drinking from either a water bottle or coffee cup — both were slathered in lip gloss — but avoided anaphylactic shock with medication, said Duncan. Her allergy is well-known at school and is so severe that her class is a strawberry-free zone, said Jo VanderStoep, principal of the 600-student school.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Oh, Wow! Lip Balms

The first thing my roommate said when I showed her the adorable bow-shaped box these lip balms came in was, "Oh, wow!" How appropriate for a company whose name is that exact exclamation (which gives me ideas for other exclamations to use as company names). Oh, Wow! was started by Seth Adams from Apex, NC. The company makes a line of premium lip balms in seventeen fun flavors using simple, natural ingredients. The down home charm of the operation is epitomized by their similarly down home, virtually click-proof website.

Price: $4.00 each.

Standard size, clear tube with sticker and scotch tape label. The label's font, much like the product website, is Comic Sans-riffic. That and the ubiquitous spirals give the tube an air of juvenile whimsy. The effect of the label plus the very colorful balms, which are tinted to match the various flavors, is very Crayola-like.

My qualm is that the flavors are not printed directly on the labels- instead there's a small colored sticker with or without a letter on it located on the bottom of the tube and you use a provided key card to cross reference the sticker with a flavor name (ex: blue sticker with a P on it = mint chocolate).

Glide: Smooooooth. One of the best I've encountered. Not greasy or oily, just a bit creamy, soft. Very satisfying. The balm itself is tinted, but it goes on clear.

You like Jolly Ranchers and girly cocktails? Well then you'll love these balms! The sweet, fruity scents are incredibly strong and conspicuous, but I guess kind of fun if you like that sort of thing (ie, you're a 12 year old girl) and enjoy leaving gusts of strawberry fog in your wake.

They come in flavors like Island Delight, Raspberries and Cream, Creamsicle, Red Apple, Cantaloupe and Lemon Sorbet, to name a just few. Luckily they're unsweetened, and the flavor itself is subtle if you can get past the strong scents (they do have an unflavored balm, which in hindsight I wish I'd tried).

Lasting Power:
Not stellar, maybe a couple of hours (does have a bit of that lick off factor), but they moisturize really well and it's a good choice for a light summer balm.

Product Pluses: Three ingredients: cocoa butter, vitamin E and flavoring. That's pretty amazing. No petroleum, waxes or fillers and they're vegan. Con: no SPF.

4.0 out of 5 tubes. Excellent glide, but the flavors a bit hit or miss and the presentation could use some work. I'd highly recommend them for kids, though.

Take a look at the gift giving recommendations. Someone with braces!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Are You The Next Big Thing?

Chaptastic adores Fred Flare, so we're pimping THE NEXT BIG THING to all you crafty types. You may remember that we featured one of last year's Big Things, Heather Joy. What is all this, you ask? We'll let them tell you:

The NEXT BIG THING is a super fun annual contest here at where we invite our customers to present their amazing creations for possible sale on our website. This year we’re selecting 27 of our favorite items to be featured in an exclusive online boutique that will also include designer bios. If your work is chosen, we’ll place a wholesale order with you for the item you’ve proposed and will purchase the stock outright. This year we’ve added a fun new twist and will also be awarding a $1000 prize to the designer voted the “fred fan fave” by our awesome customers. Right on! The NEXT BIG THING contest is best suited for artists, crafters or designers who are serious about taking their business to the next level.

Right on, indeed. Get on it!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sarah's Garden - Revisited

In September we reviewed Sarah's Garden and I wanted to go ahead and revise the score on this one.

I'm giving it a solid 5 out of 5. This stick is so hardcore. Application is minimal with its awesome moisturizing, no weird smells, all natural, it's just plain great.

Read all about it:

Sarah's Garden: Lavender & Natural

Sarah's Garden produces homemade organic lip balm in 4 tasty varieties: lavender, spearmint, pepperment, and natural. During the last week I spent lots of quality time with the lavender and the natural. And I'm going to tell you all about them.

Price: $5.50 per tube

Glide: Sweet glide, slides smoothly along the lips.

Appearance: Standard stick with a label that makes me think of meadows and ivy, which is a nice little getaway when you're surrounded by skyscrapers. Light purple for the lavender flavor (obvs) and yellow for the natural.

Flavor/ Smell:
This was the first lavender balm that I've tried. I was concerned that it might smell like Febreze or some sort of household cleaner, but it didn't. It smells exactly like the lavender growing in my tiny fire escape garden. A wonderful clean smell. The ladies of Sarah's Garden call it "light and relaxing" and they're spot on.

As for the natural; Sarah's Garden describes this stick as "rich, earthy, and fragrant". I wholeheartedly agree with the rich and earthy description, the balm coats well and the fact that it's natural makes it earthy. But I have to disagree with "fragrant". I've become a huge fan of this stick due to it's lack of fragrance - it's the most unobtrusive balm I've encountered.

Lasting Power: Hours, and with the simplicity of the natural balm there's no desire to reapply constantly due to flavor and/or smell. In fact, there have been times when I've completely forgotten about chapstick: no dry lips, no weird smells, nothing.

Product Plusses: All natural, hand poured, created in small batches, and each stick has it's own list of organic ingredients.

An ideal tube for anyone, check this one out.

4.50 out of 5 tubes

REVISED 5 out of 5 tubes

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Ledge

Chaptastic has been called out on The Ledge a Fleetwood Mac message board.

A Fleetwood Mac message board.

JazmenFlowers (location: in her lyricism, being self-indulgent) posted about Chaptastic with an amazing picture of Stevie Nicks. JazmenFlowers, if you're reading this, email us and we'll send you out a tube.

You may remember this post, where we featured another lovely picture of our fave mystical pre-goth Stevie Nicks.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Guest Post! LiPs by Wong: Clockwork Orange Creamsicle

Hey gang, guess who's back with another guest post. It's Chia! Whee!

This time Chia's covering LiPs by Wong's Clockwork Orange Dreamsicle.

Not only is Chia good at drinking whisky, but he's also mayor of the galaxy.

Price: Who knows? Check the MySpace page for more information.

Appearance: This looks pretty f'n cool. Sleek design, silver tops, nice takeoff on the Clockwork Orange image. And it's got a hot chick with a knife! What could possibly go wrong?

Glide: This glides like butter. Almost exactly like melted butter, actually. Might be a little too greasy, but it sure is easy to apply.

Flavor/ Smell: I've never met an orange creamsicle that I didn't like (Ed. note: he really hasn't), and this is no exception. The flavor is just right - not too light, not too heavy, not too sweet. And, really... orange creamsicle? That's just not fair. Who doesn't want that?

Lasting Power: This stuff lasts long enough, but not much longer than that (vague much?). I can taste the flavor a good ten minutes later, which is good. But it doesn't feel like it really sinks in at all, which is not so good.

Product Plusses: Hard to tell - there's no more information provided. The woman that makes it is in a band called Mixel Pixel. That would be a plus, if you're into that sort of thing. (ed. note: on this page if you order an album you get a free tube!)

3.5 tubes out of 5. Check out the other cute designs LiPs by Wong makes!