Miss Oops Pucker Protector

Got a tip from a Chicago friend about Miss Oops, a company that makes "beauty-saving, problem-solving" products. Their line includes, among other wonders, a sponge that removes deodorant marks and other makeup messes, a "Popper Stopper" that prevents your belly button from showing through clothes, and JAKS, "the latest trend used to cover butt-crack and muffin tops". I guess chapped lips are pretty embarrassing, too, so thank Buddha there's the Miss Oops Pucker Protector. "It's a lip balm. It's a lip gloss. It's both!" Their line, not mine.

Now, I know. This is Chaptastic- we do lip balm, not lip gloss, but occasionally we do make an exception, and in this case I thought it a decent expenditure of my time to see if the Pucker Protector really does live up to its claim of being a balm, let alone a good balm.

Price: $14.00 plus S&H. Yowza.

Appearance: Makeup city, all the way down to the pink lip goop and the fuzzy applicator stick. This is not one for the sporty.

Glide: Good, I suppose. I'm more partial to markers over a paint and brush, but once you unscrew the cap and pull out the soft-tipped applicator wand the product goes on pretty easily, although I found I needed a few passes back and forth on the lip because the wand tip has much smaller surface area than your typical tube. Takes a few more seconds.

Smell/Flavor: Fairly generic but pleasant mint scent with sweet but not cloying mint flavor. That's something that surprised me, actually- a gloss that doesn't smell like berries or flowers.

Lasting Power: You know, it's actually pretty great. I put some on at the start of a night out and didn't have to put on lip balm all night. Sure, maybe the alcohol distracted me from my bodily needs (although it usually does quite the opposite), but this stuff actually hydrates! And its minty scent covered the tequila breath very well.

It's also shiny, shiny, shiny. And it stays shiny for quite a while, so the modest and work-appropriate among us should keep that in mind.

Product Pluses/Minuses: SPF 30. Can't stress how important SPF is, especially now that it's warming up out there. Has a bunch of unpronounceable ingredients, but so does that pop tart you're eating. Actually, it does contain salicylic acid, for those of you who have sensitive lips.

It's a gloss, yes, but it's a pretty darn good lip balm, too. So if you're looking for something to wear with that new Wet Seal sequined tube top and can't bring yourself to pull out the lipstick, this is a good alternative. Mine lives in my "going out" purse, desperately waiting for its once-every-three-months use.

4 out of 5 tubes.