ChapNews Vol 3: Oh, the Places You'll Go!

- I know chapstick is a miraculous product, but come on. A chapstick appetite suppressant? Quote from the website: "It 'helps' curb your appetite". 'Helps'? I like buying products that when I describe what they do I have to use air quotes.

- For your kayaking, snowboarding, surfing, rock-climbing, hiking, sailing loved ones comes ZeBug, the "original attachable lip balm and sunscreen container". If I did any of those things, I'd think it was pretty rad.

- But lookout Zebug- you've got competition! Not only is 4YourLipz abbreviated with a number, but it also uses a "z" instead of an "s", which is a clear marker for hip-ness. Also the site has a picture of a skydiver, which beats out your slighly discomforting sandal-clip picture.

- I'm hoping that if I smear enough Narnia Chapstick onto the back of my closet I'll end up in a magical wonderland. I've gone through twelve sticks so far and nothing yet.