Chicken Poop (Minus the Chicken and the Poop)

I have a confession to make: I looove chicken poop. I like the way it smells and feels and I like smearing it all over my lips over and over again...mmmm. So imagine my amazement when I discovered that there's actually a chapstick out there called Chicken Poop! You don't have to tell me that twice- it's like preaching to the shit-eating choir.

To my horrible disappointment, however, there isn't any actual chicken poop in the product. Talk about mislabeling (I'm going straight to the FDA on this one)! The name comes from something the grandfather of Jamie Faith Tabor Smith (the product inventor) used to say to her when she complained of chapped lips: "If you've got chapped lips, put some chicken poop on them and you won't lick them." Old people give such sage advice (hearty chuckle).

Let's take at look at Chicken Poop, shall we?

Price: If you don't live in a handful of mostly Midwest states, you have to go online to find Chicken Poop (ha). That means that a single tube will cost you $4 plus shipping and handling, so it ends up being $5.50. A bit pricey, but I guess that's the cost of Chicken Poop these days (seriously...that will not stop being funny).

Glide: This stick has a nice, even glide- not too slippery but not too stiff, whether at room temperature or straight from the pocket.

Flavor/Smell: The smell of Chicken Poop is what makes it unique (still funny). You know how Vick's Vapor Rub smells kind of eecchh normally but when you're sick it's the best thing in the world because it gets up in your nose and clears everything up? That's kind of like what's going on with this stick. It has a wonderful, nasal passage-clearing mixture of strong, tangy orange and lavender. The scent is at once invigorating and calming, and yet it has an extra kick of spice in it...the cumulative scent is very medicine-like, but in a good way. That said, it really doesn't taste like much. You have to really try to get a flavor out of it (slightly orange), and even then you can't be sure that it's not just your nose tricking your taste buds.

It's nice to have a chapstick that doesn't smell or taste like food. It does take some getting used to if you're not used to having a strong-smelling chapstick (the scent travels well and far), so you're either going to love it or hate it.

Lasting Power: Jamie's grandpa might have been right- I felt less of a desire to lick my lips with Chicken Poop on. I think it's because of it's non-food scent. When it fades away, it doesn't dry out your lips. I'd say that if you're a non-obsessive chapstick user then you'll probably be good with a couple of applications a day. For the addicted, we're talking about a half hour to an hour, and that ain't bad.

Appearance: The tube is standard size and plain white with bold black script printed on it- very simple, very graphic, but nothing to rave about.

Product Plusses: So many, I have to list them.

1. The name. You have an instant conversation starter/ice breaker with Chicken Poop. Just look at the fun we've been having thus far.
   
2. 100% purity. The ingredients are: soy, jojoba, sweet orange, lavender, and beeswax. That's it. So rejoice, petroleum-haters.
   
3. Lavender= aromatherapy
   
4. Check out the packaging the tubes come in. I don't know about you, but I'll buy anything that is dispensed out of a chicken's ass.
   
5. No SPF. That's not a plus.
   

I think that to recover after a bad chapping or in the middle of winter this would be the perfect stick to reach for, but ultimately it's strongly noticeable, aggressive scent does not make it a good candidate for every day (ie, multiple times a day) use.

Over all, though, Chicken Poop is quite good. 4.0 out of 5 tubes.