Time to Evaluate the Self

Lip Balm Anonymous (LBA) had a eye opening survey. I fear I may be on a downward spiral

Do you ever use more lip balm than you planned?

According to the spreadsheet I create daily chronicling when and where I can apply I can safely say that today, so far, I have not fallen off the wagon.

8:03 - treadmill - check
8:45 - weight bench - check
8:53 - locker room - check
9:10 - after shower - check
9:15 - while drying hair -check

No extraneous application thus far.

Has the use of lip balm interfered with your job?

Yes, white chapstick residue on my lips has led coworkers to believe I am a crack addict. See Tyrone Biggums post.

Is your lip balm use causing conflict with your spouse or family?

Family time consists of sitting in a circle, tubes in hand, crying, applying, hugging, repeating - so no. Kumbayah, yo.

Do you feel depressed, guilty, or remorseful after you use lip balm?

Depressed that I have to wait till my next spreadsheet approved application time.

Do you use whatever lip balm you have almost continuously until the supply is exhausted?

Yes, that just seems economical.

Do you ever wish that you had never taken that first application or hit of lip balm?

And continued licking my lips like i was LL Cool J? Naw. Look at his stomach, WOWZER!

Do you have an obsession to get lip balm when you don't have it?

Actually, yes. I have popped into stores to purchase an emergency stick.

Are you experiencing financial difficulties due to your lip balm use?

Luckily, I have friends and family that support the habit financially.

Do you experience an anticipation high just knowing you are about to use lip balm?

Christ. This survey has 42 questions. I have to stop here.


Anyway - if you need addiction help, get a life, and get some more chapstick.