Yes We Can: Obama Balm

I'm filing this under "Things I Wish I Had Thought of Two Years Ago". I mean, it's sort of pathetic that we haven't yet made the "Obalma" pun, right? Or maybe we were just being respectful. Let's go with that.

If you're interested in bringing a little change into your routine and stocking up on the above balms, here's the info:

(1) Benjamin's Obama Balm, $4.99 on eBay. Apparently it's the balm that "does it all" and "won't rub you the wrong way", and it has a variety of uses: truth serum, meal enhancer, glass cleaner, just to name a few. You guys remember that just because we post about something it doesn't mean we endorse it, right?

(2) Obalm-Ah! Lip Balm Pot or Restorative Balm, respectively $3.25 (or 2 for $6.00) and $9.00 from themefragrance on Etsy.

(3) Obama Balm, call Colorlab at 815-965-2001 to order. They might still have some McCain Conditioner left!

(4) O-Balm-A Special Edition Inaugural Balm, $3.44 from herbanlifestyle on Etsy (come in packs of 18). Definitely the best-looking of the bunch, this Mocha Macadamia flavor blends the "essence of robust Kenyan coffee and soothing oil from Hawaiian macadamia nuts".

(5) Obalma Red, White & Blueberry, $10.00 for a superpack from Hawaiian surfer brand Shaka Laka. Also available: Biden Balm, Ham & Cheese Flavor.

Guest Post! Dr. Luv's Peach Fizz Balm

There's a long list of guest posts to put up, but this one caught my attention because of the rating our guest poster Chrissey gave it. I could barely find a photo of the product on the whole internet (had to resort to eBay), so perhaps its makers realized how awful it was. I suspect it's still stocked somewhere, so consider this a warning. Enjoy Chaptastic's lowest rated balm ever. Go for it, Chrissey!

I looove fizzy drinks. Pop rocks is my addicting substance- I can eat packs and packs without stopping. While other kids do drugs and smoke, I have my Pop Rocks. So when I saw Dr. Luv's Peach Fizzy balm, I just HAD to get it. I was at Claire's with my assistant [a 10 year old suck up] and I bought it. The outside of the balm is appealing, but I'll get into that later.

Price: $3.50, but i got on sale for $1.50.

Appearance: Oh em gee. Its like a mini soda can with a light orange cream label with a peach in the middle and the words "Dr.Luv's Peach Fizzy".

Glide: Hard. Felt like rubbing a bar of soap on my lips. Ew. At first it was like chapstick then it got harder.

Flavor/Smell: Peach sparkler. Sweet and light peachy, and very very candyish.

Lasting Power: Ew. .25 seconds. I had to keep applying it before I got really pissy and threw it in the food court trash. [This is my favorite part- it didn't even make it out of the mall! -Ed.]

Product Pluses: None!!

Product Minuses: Oh my god. There's a warning label, and it barely covers ANYTHING. I got chapped lips, and they ached and felt itchy. Plus my lips started peeling.

Overall: .0000001 out of 5 tubes. I think instead of spitting into they eyes of my enemies I'll give them this balm.

Ouch, y'all, ouch. Also, don't get on Chrissey's bad side.

Quease Ease Lip Balm

Here's an interesting product from erbavivia, the baby and mom-to-be organic product site. They have a balm called Quease Ease that's meant to be used by pregnant women to calm the stomach. It contains ginger and peppermint essential oils as well as a bunch of organic good stuff and sells for $9.00 a pop. Sounds like a great idea if it works, or even if you just think it works. Placebos are a beautiful thing.

Say Yes To Carrots: "C Me Smile" Lip Butter

I love companies with sentences for names, like Kiss My Face. So it's only natural that while standing in line at Walgreens I'd notice Yes To Carrots (okay, not technically a full sentence- verb implied?). Since I rarely say no to carrots, I was an easy sell. I was intrigued by the emphasis on carrot oil, something I don't think I've come across in a balm yet, and by the variety of flavors (Berry, Mint, Citrus and Melon). Yes to Carrots has an intriguing line of bath & beauty products, and if they're anything like this balm, I have to try them.

Price: $3.69

Appearance: Standard .15 oz tube, simple graphics, unisex appeal.

Glide: Veeerrry nice. Smooth, not at all slick or oily and not thick or sticky.

Smell/Flavor: I tried the Carrot variety, so I won't speak for the other flavors. I can't say it smells distinctly of carrot, but the scent is pleasant enough. It's sort of a mellow citrus with a hint of coconut. Very unobtrusive. No taste or sweetness.

Lasting Power: Not bad. A couple of hours, at least. It's the kind of balm you put on and forget about until a while later when you're wondering why your lips are so soft. Great for use before bedtime.

Pluses: 95% certified USDA organic ingredients (coconut, olive, jojoba, and sunflower seed oils + shea butter, beeswax , vitamin E + carrot, pumpkin and melon seed extracts- see site for full listing). No animal testing. Paraben and petroleum free.

No minuses stand out. It's an exceptionally pleasant and effective balm, probably worth a shot for those with especially sensitive lips and definitely guy-friendly. Don't know what "wow" factor would make it a perfect balm, but I totally dig it. 4.5 out of 5 tubes.

Etsy Labs: How to Make Lip Balm

Speaking of the recession, maybe now's the time to think about investing in lip balm. It's cheap to make and you can sell the excess if you brand it well enough.

That's where Etsy, my favorite DIY marketplace, comes in. Etsy Labs published an excellent step-by-step how-to (a year and a half ago...we like to be fashionably late) with great pictures and resource lists (also check out therapygarden.com for supplies).

Take a look at their many other posts on how to do everything from make boxes from recycled paper to make simple jewelry. Also sign up for their fun-looking classes in Brooklyn. Which reminds me- why haven't I gone to their weekly Craft Night yet?!

Bacon-Flavored Lip Balm

It had to happen, right?

To the company's credit, Bacon Salt is fantastic- it has no calories, no fat, and, strangely, is vegetarian. They also sell Baconnaise.

Guest Post! Perfumeria Gal Madrid- Apple

Today's poster is Eva, who brings us a review of a boutique balm. If you like vintage posters of naked French ladies on bikes and monkeys drinking absinthe, you'll probably dig the art nouveau slash vintage aesthetic of the Madrid-based company Perfumeria Gal and their fragranced, tinned lip balms. How about it, Eva?

Hey I'm Eva, I live in L.A., and I like Pinkberry and Chapstick. I picked this up at Abbot Kinney, this very upscale shopping street right by my house. I went through every store on that street, and this was the only thing I could afford. I loved it so much, I eventually picked up the whole set. It comes in orange, tropical, violet, strawberry, and my personal favorite- apple.

Price: I got this for around $3.00 (up to $6.00 online-Ed.).

Appearance: Awesome! All of these tins have pictures of these lovely women on them, and they all have cool designs around the sides. I love balms that catch my eye, you won't ever see me carrying a drab tube around (my only exception is Lipsmackers Vanilla, because it smells so good).

Glide: Its very sticky, and has lots of shine to it. It glides on a little too well, because it is a pot based balm. Whenever I apply, I have to have a napkin nearby because so much always ends up on my finger. This means I pretty much can't bring it anywhere- I only apply at home.

Flavor/Smell: It has a very strong scent of apples, but if you accidentally eat some of it you won't taste anything at all. I like this in a balm, because when one tastes good I'm tempted to eat it, and that's just nasty. Anyway, the actual balm is bright green to match its cover. All of the pots have exotic coloring.

Lasting Power: I don't really know, because this stuff smells so good I reapply it every five minutes :-D

Product Pluses/Minuses: Well, this is a petroleum-based balm. I'm not sure if this is a plus or a minus- I don't personally mind. The only thing I really can't stand about this balm is that it gets all over my fingers.

3.5 out of 5 tubes. I just can't get over the sticky fingers.

ChapNews Vol. 16: Lip Balm, By and For Tweens!

Well this is just about the cutest thing I've ever read (admittedly, I am biased towards all things lip balm-related). From the Gwinnett Herald:

Slip of the tongue leads to sisters' business in Alpharetta
ALPHARETTA – Research and development. Market surveys. Product testing. Product placement. Not exactly the kind of terms expected to come out of a fifth-grader's mouth, but that's what happens when she starts her own company with her younger sister.

Lily, who just turned 11, and Melanie Sandler, age 9, are the founders of Blamtastic, which manufactures lip balm for the younger set.

"One day I was actually looking for my lip balm. I said 'Where's my lip blam, I mean balm," Lily said.

Her mother, Rethan Sandler, told her that would be a good name for a lip balm company.

"And that's how it all got started," she said.

These two bright girls started Blamtastic, a "mom-owned company run by kids". Blamtastic sells a line of balms featuring nine flavors with names like O.M.G (Oh My Grape) for the ladies and Alien Invasion for the fellas. (They followed the first rule of business: boys don't like pink or fruit.) They also offer lip balm clip sleeves and party favors. Their balms contain SPF 15 and are made with no petroleum, no parabens and no animal testing. Pretty nifty! I haven't tried them yet, but I swear if I were still twelve I'd totally buy the Sassafrassy Rootbeer flavor. Have you seen them (the balms, not the girls) where you live?

Sites We Dig: Crazy Rumors Update

So you remember how two years ago (!) we fawned over Crazy Rumors' delicious lip balms and gave them a perfect rating and kept recommending their 100% vegan and organic line of awesomeness?

Well, they're at it again. Not only have they revamped their web page, which is now tres chic, but they have a new line of Gumball and A La Mode balms in addition to their great Perk and Brew lines. Any day now we will be getting samples of the new sticks and we'll let you know all about 'em, for better or for worse. Although I can't image the latter situation- I still adore my stick of Orange Bergamot, which I apply every night before bed, and I think I have one Crazy Rumor stick in every bag I own. I would buy them all if it weren't for this darn recession (which, by the way, is my go-to reason for being a cheapskate these days).

As always, there's a deal where if you spend a certain amount you get a free stick (spend $24 (pre-ship) get 1 free lip balm of your choice, 2 @ $48, 3 @ $72, etc.). Oh, and check out their festive Candy Cane line from the holidays- they're now on sale. I'm dying to try the Pear & Peppermint.